I’ve been thinking about what it means to really fix our eyes on something.  When I ask my children to look at me when I talk to them, my expectation is that they will give me their undivided attention.  That everything else in the room will somehow magically disappear and we will be able to share an exchange free from distraction.

My children are standing right in front of me. They can see me. My face, my eyes, my furled brow as I talk with them about something pertinent or important.  I’m pressing into them, asking them with my expressions to focus on my words, my face, and my intentions with them.

Even with my presence directly in front of them, they (and sometimes I) fail to fix their eyes without distraction.  I can hear the little ones in the background, getting into something, no less. I can hear my older one walk out the door to the garage as it slams behind him, and I quickly wonder where he could be going.  My son . . . he looks at me. He tries.  I’ve probably asked him twice by now to look at my face while I speak with him.  But he is distracted by an untied shoelace, his desire to grab the glass of water on the counter behind me; or the emotions he might feel cause him to look down.

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I thought about all of this and how it plays out and how similar it is when I come to cross.  I want to look at Jesus. I want to fix my eyes on Him, His word, what He says about me and what I’m capable of.

But I’m distracted.  I couldn’t even try to sum up all the reasons I’m distracted.  Sin, selfishness, pride, fear, shame, guilt – these are all reasons I fail to FIX MY EYES on the King, the one who loves me and bore my sin so I could come before His throne freely.

The BEST NEWS about this scenario is that God is not like me in the story.  God is not distracted by the child entering the garage or the littlest ones getting into some trouble.  God is fixated on ME when I come to the cross.

He has knelt down, gotten on my level, lifted my chin and begged me to make a connection with Him.  Whether He is scolding me or loving me, He desires for me to see His face and see His intention with my life.  Just as I love my sons (all 6 of them) and my daughter, and I desperately attempt to win their hearts through a moment’s eye-to-eye connection, so GOD LOVES ME (and YOU) and desires to connect with me, intimately, without distraction.

It is normal to come to Him with all our human emotions at times.  That is what we need Him for: not the facade of having it all together already, but the ability to come to the cross and lay it all at His feet.

This, THIS my friends, is when we receive His courage in our lives to face the things that might frighten us.  When we know we aren’t holding anything of our own anymore, but we are filled with Him and fixated on a God who is NOT distracted by anything as He fights with us and for us.

Birth can be scary.  The unknown, the changing plans, the waiting.  For some, the unexpected news of a pregnancy, labor, or birth gone awry. Yet we can come to the cross with our eyes peering up at Christ, having full confidence He is not distracted.

“Fix your eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”  ~Hebrews 12:2

We can find JOY too, in enduring so much, yet coming to the throne of Christ!

Father, be with these mamas today.  Call them to you, to spend time with you, to look up at you with a fixed gaze and receive your courage when things get scary.  Help us to leave it all at the cross, that we might be filled with you! Amen.



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